Saturday, February 26, 2011

Think I can jump from this building to the next without falling? WATCH ME.

So I've always known I'm not a very risky person. I'm just not. I've always been the overly cautious one who asks, "Are we allowed to do this?" And I've never really liked that about myself. I'm sure it's probably gotten me out of a lot of dangerous situations, but sometimes I wish I could be the adventurous one. The Tommy Pickles of the real world, you know?

So I dyed my hair pink. No, not all the way pink, but the bottom layer of my hair is pink and so is a highlight on the top. I understand that dying my hair is not exactly the same as taking a spontaneous road trip with the guy you just met at the grocery store at 2 am when you had just finished riding your motorcycle on the edge of a building. However, it was slightly impulsive and I didn't ask my mother first, so it's a good baby step.


It wasn't even something I thought about doing. Brēnna asked if I wanted to go to the store to get hair dye because she just wanted to DO SOMETHING. Do something? I want to do something. I want to dye my hair, too. Let's do it. Let's go catch a bus.

See, I always thought that if I were to dye my hair, it would be a more practical color like auburn. Not pink. Though pink was not the color I intended on in the first place... I bought purple hair dye. My hair was purple, too, until I took a shower. (Creepiest shower I have ever taken by the way... There was purple EVERYWHERE. It was dripping all down me and splattering on the curtain and the walls... I swear, it looked like Barney was getting murdered.) Then toward the end of the shower, it wasn't purple anymore. It was PINK.

I like it though, so my hair turning the wrong color isn't such a big deal. I walked with confidence the next day. I felt like a different person. Of course, random students walking past me would have no idea that my hair had not been pink before, but I knew. That's what mattered. I knew that I did something somewhat out of character, and even though it was minor it meant something to me.

I mean, when else am I going to have the opportunity to dye my hair some crazy color? Samber and I were talking about that because she was considering a purple streak in her hair. She said, "I mean, it's not like I'm going to be a 40-year-old mom and dye my hair purple. If not now, when?" EXACTLY. Now is the time to take risks. I'm not condoning stupid, reckless behavior (though the adrenaline rush is sure to make it worth it... for the time being).

Me being me, however, I over-analyzed the situation and turned it into one of those after-school specials. Even this one minuscule risks turned out the wrong way for me... My hair is not the color I intended it to be. So with every risk I take, something unplanned will happen. Maybe I'm just not meant for risks. Maybe a greater risk will have greater consequences. Oh goshhh, I'm boring!

Though some of that is definitely right, I cannot live my life like that. Yeah, there may be consequences to risks, but there are consequences to NOT taking risks as well. I don't want to live my life scared of what might happen if I step out of my comfort zone. I think that as long as there is a good balance and I'm still a little cautious and smart about taking risks, then that change is good.

So yeah, maybe I'm not the most spontaneous person ever. Maybe I'm not the one people go to when they want to go on an adventure. But I've got PINK HAIR, and dang it, you can't take that away from me. (Urg, that reminds me... My psychology professor was lecturing about Identity vs. Role Confusion and how teenagers go through a stage of finding out who they are. She was saying how adolescents do crazy things like dye their hair and pierce themselves, when the two girls sitting behind Ashley and me said "Hot pink." I just turned around and looked at them, then they did a little innocent gasp and giggled. Bitches. I like my hair. I don't like your voices, so shut up :) heh... Okay, I'm done being hostile.)

I remember during senior year of high school I had this deal with one of my best friends, Brianne, that we would do something new every day that was unusual for ourselves. One night after making this pact, Berlyn was with me. She was trying to help me think of something to do. I had NO IDEA what to do. So we got in her car and headed toward Lover's because I had never been there before. It was closed. We just drove around and tried to think of something out of my ordinary to do... because that's what we do. We think a lot. I think I'm getting used to the fact that I just think about everything far too long and sometimes miss my chance. Oh well. Thinking is good for college, right?


College, or at least this age, is the time where many people discover who they are and where their boundaries lie. I'm going to dye my hair, but I'm not going to shave my head. She's going to go to a party and drink a little, but she's not going to get drunk and drive her car home. He's going to ask an attractive lady out on a date, but he's not going to try to get into her pants. I mean, there is ALWAYS going to be opportunities for risk taking in life, but I feel as though they're more present at this age. Or at least the reckless or stupid ones are. Quitting your job when you're older because you're unhappy and then looking for a new job? That's a risk. It can backfire, but it can also be beneficial. You just have to figure out if the benefits outweigh the risks.

Love, your pink-haired friend,

Above: It might be hard to see because it's small, but here's the upper layer. There isn't much pink... Unless I put my hair up.
Below: Bottom layer.

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