Saturday, February 5, 2011

Being an adult.

It's funny how other people's lives, thoughts, opinions, and actions can affect (I'm pretty sure it's affect.... Not effect...) us.

For example.
I am an atheist.
Now, for some people that's whatever. About 30% of my friends are atheist, or pretty effing close to being ones.
However, for some people the thought is simply too much.
I have met many a people that I tell "I don't believe in God" and they hear: "Please, save me. I'm going to hell".... Don't get me wrong, not all of my god-believing friends feel they have to save me. It's just a few.

I had a conversation the other day with three of my newer friends (friends that go to my college). Let me describe to you how weird this group was:
There was, Me, the Atheist.
A Christian.
A Jew.
and A Gay Guy (he's religious, it's just kind of a struggle).

My Jewish friend and my Gay friend really could care less about what I believe in or don't believe in. But my Christian friend is a different story.
I think the one thing that bothered me the most (besides her saying that there was no possible way evolution started on it's own... AND what proof do we have that humans evolved from anything) was she kept repeating: "It's just easier for everyone to imagine that there is a higher power. Isn't that easier for you too."
She got pissed when I said no...

I'll be straight with you guys.
I don't believe in god. I don't believe in heaven and I don't believe in hell.
I don't believe there is "sin" I only believe that their are criminal acts and mistakes.
I'm fine without belief. I don't need it. I haven't since I was in eighth grade and wanted to die.
... We'll get into this suicide thing at another date.

The other thing she got angry at was the fact that I don't think their is a heaven. She was all mad and asked me if I'm scared of dying because I think there is nothing afterwards. I said yeah, death is scary. Even when I did believe in heaven I was scared of dying. No ammount of belief can take away MY fear of death. But I'm okay with that. I mean. I have other fears to worry about more than death. Like my fear of the future. Death and the future are the same in an essence. You don't know what will happen, how it will happen, or what it wiil be like. The future is more scary to me cause I can still fuck things up.

Last.... I believe that everything started with a mutation. I don't know how it started or why but I believe it didn't start with a god. A. Look at the similarities of every species. It's amazing (my friend would argue that it's so amazing it had to be created by a god....), B. The stars have so much in common with us. Go and look up gaseous pillars... They make stars. Let me say this again: THEY MAKE STARS. It's so cool. Read up. Stars have a lot of elements in common as humans and other living things do. I believe we are what Carl Sagan called "stary stuff" (Look that up too).

Don't get me wrong... I think faith is great. Hold on to faith as long as you possibly can. If that's your whole life... Swell! Good on you, mate. But, for some of us, losing faith is easy.
Again. I'll be straight with you guys.
It's easy to lose faith in everything when you hate your father, you watch your family break apart, when you want to die, when you are scared of so many things, and when you watch the news and see all this cray shit going on.

I'm going to move on soon. Don't worry.

I'll just repeat myself once more: I think faith is great. I have nothing against any religion. I just hate how much some religions hate other people.

Moving on.

What I started with at the begining was how someones actions can change the way we feel about them.
For me... If you share something you believe with me. Most of the time I will not suddenly change my thoughts on you.
For example:
Sally believes that homosexuality is a sin.
(Sally's fake...)
I wouldn't care. That's Sally's belief. Sure I might argue with her a few times. Tell her that if you love someone you should be able to love someone without being judged or hated. But for the most part I would be able to carry on my relationship with Sally if I really wanted to stay her friend.
It's the same with my Christian friend.
She has her beliefs. I have mine.

The only time I struggle with staying people's friends is when they wrong me, lie to me, or murdered someone.
If you came up to me and said:
"Berlyn, I killed my mother in cold blood."
I would respond:
"Friend, that's creepy and though I enjoy our friendship I will have to put an end to it."
And that's understandable.
Right? Would you stay friends with your friend if they murdered someone?

However, for some peop
le, you bring up one thing and they immediatly don't want to talk to you anymore. And this goes for everything.
In middle school and the start of high school, Everything that my friends did was a big deal.
"You smoked pot, oh my god!"
"You had sex! Oh my GOD!"
"You ran away from home! Oh my god!"
I mean everything. I will never forget all the phone calls I got where I answered and heard crying on the other line followed by:
"I don't know what to dooooooooooo!"

Those years it was hard not to change your opinions on friends. We were all young. We were all growing at different paces so yeah... It was hard to keep the same friendship with people after they had taken that huge step and I still hadn't. You know?

But nowadays it's different. We're adults. We're supposed to act like adults, at least for the most part.
I'll admit, sometimes I have the tendencies of a two year old and sometimes, when I'm tired, I'll act like a five year old, and other times when someone hurts my feelings my reaction will be similar to the reaction of a seven year old.
Sometimes I see a lot of my middle school self in what I am today. Other times I see my high school self.
But for the most part I find myself acting like someone I have never acted like before. The adult me.
Sure. She'll change as time goes on. But this me doesn't take shit from other people, gets her stuff done but has time for fun, and this me doesn't judge people as much as the me from all my other ages.

I think.
As time goes on. That this time will prove to be the best time of my life. College life. Not because of the partying and the fun.
But because of the people you meet and the growing you go through. I've never felt so adult in my life.

I only wish that other people could go through life. Meet people. Learn about these people. And continue to be friends with them. No matter their beliefs. No matter their fears or insecurities. No matte anything.
Just accept and move on.

So... Yeah :)

- Berlyn

P.S. I HATED Harry Potter Four. Hated it. But I did laugh at one thing... My favorite quote:
"Said Sirius Seriously"

P.P.S. I don't ever do this but I am going to reccomend a movie. It's called Grizzly Park it is probably one of the funniest shit movies I have seen in a long time and is totally worth it. Get it on netflix. Find it on the internet. Do something because it's funny and I want to be able to talk about it with all of you.
Oh the front cover it literally says: Eight Juveiniles. Six weeks in the forest. It's gonna be a bear.
So good. Do it.