Friday, June 24, 2011

Panic attack at 7am...

Hello everyone!

I can't talk long today because I am moving out and... Unfortunatley.... I do not have internet at my new place until Monday... So... I'm doing this right before I head off to work. But... I'm very, very stressed out and wanted to give a few tips and pointers before I run off on not being stressed... Maybe that way the aching in my stomach will go away.

1. Take deep breaths.

I know, I know... Everyone says this... And most of us rarely do it. Most of the time when someone else tells me to do this I want to smack them over the head and hold my breath until I pass out... Just to show them... I guess... But I mean... When you think about it... They're on to something. Oxygen is what keeps your heart moving... Deep breaths are much more relaxing and successful than the small little ones we have when we are having a panic attack because the lady with the couch may not give us the couch and... Well... We already rented the truck to pick it up....
... Deep Breaths....

2. Drink water.

I don't have much to say on this... Again... Something I don't do alot... I like to blissfully ignore the fact that my body is 90% water. But... Whenever I get a massage from me madre she always says to drink water because when you are getting a massage and knots are released, toxins (I know... I can't spell) and you need to flush them out.
So just think of it as washing all the toxins out... At least for a little while.
Eat an apple as well... They're just good for you okay? Do it.

3. Think about the things you are excited about.

This is the one I actually do ALL the time.
I think to myself: I can't let today get to me... They still haven't made a flash superhero movie and I have to be alive for that.
Or: I can't kill my boss today... I still need money to go Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2.
Yes people. Maybe it's not as healthy as the other two ideas and it's more a bribe to your brain.... But it gets the job done.
Today I will probably keep repeating: See Kim, Harry Potter and September.

4. Believe in yourself.

I don't mean stick stickey notes telling yourself that your are brave and strong and pretty... Like those skinny girls in movies that think they are bad off... I'm talking for one moment, let all your insecurities melt away. You're better than them.
I believe in you.

Okay... I still have to take a shower and then head off the work and work from 9-5 at school and then put my room together until I pass out... All the while trying to find a replacement couch. Talk to you all in two saturdays.


Sunday, June 19, 2011

The time to say goodbye... is later.

Procrastination is a dirty little bitch. She never lets me do anything. Even this blog post has been put off for a while because she's so clingy and won't leave me alone... But procrastination and I, we became pretty good friends this past year. I mean, we tolerated each other. We understood each other, at least. But I'm having second thoughts.

Procrastination came into my life several years ago, but it wasn't really until this year that we became connected at the hip. Everywhere I went, procrastination was with me. Now that it's summer time, I hope we can take a break from each other and maybe not be so close next year... but I guess we'll see.

The last week of school was pretty ridiculous. I know it's all my fault because my real friends (not the stupid Procrastination that has this pathetic hold on me... leave me alone, love... I don't need you in my life!) told me to ditch Procrastination at LEAST for finals week. The week before my final paper for Ancient History was due Rakia told me "I don't want to see you out in the hall in the middle of the night upset about how much you have left to do. DO YOUR PAPER." You see, I would, but... I have a date with my poisoness love, PROCRASTINATION.

At least she tried. Maybe she should have hired a hitman.

I do manage to get all my work done though, at least eventually. I had to miss out on some fun the night before my Ancient History paper was due, which was a bummer. I was at Caroline's house with the girls for small groups, and we were all playing a fun game (Balderdash?) but I had to quit and leave early to finish my work... Procrastination called my name while I ignored her and went to the library.

She didn't like that very much...

See, I tried to ditch her the week before. She wouldn't get off my back, so I called upon Michelle B for a favor. I had her change my passwords for Facebook and MyYearbook for the week because my friendship with Procrastination was becoming quite the affair. I found myself sneaking around anyway, even if I was just slowly packing up my room or texting other girls... It was still a problem, but it wasn't quite as ridiculous.

Basically, I've realized my relationship with Procrastination is unhealthy. We either need to go to counseling or just separate completely. Next year, I'm ready for a fresh start. It's time to leave Procrastination behind me and just move on.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

One down, three to go.

So I just finished my first year of college.

Boy, am I exhausted.

It seriously went by wayyy faster than I thought it would. I'm pretty sure all of college is just going to fly past me... Then what? The future is a complete mystery to me, and as excited as I am for it, I am also terrified. But I'm not going to think about that right now.

I'm not going to lie, this year did not go exactly as I had thought it would. There were a lot more downs than I predicted, but I also made more solid friendships than I thought I would. I didn't go into the year thinking I would make a solid group of friends. I didn't imagine I would love all the girls in my hallway. Whether it be dancing ridiculously in my room with Danielle, going out to Thai food and having in-depth discussions with Cait, giggling with Sam, thinking the same ridiculous things as Rakia ALL THE TIME, silently relating to the lovely Karissa more than I thought could be possible, venting and joking with Michelle, being equally pleased with cleaning supplies as Ashley, constantly being scared and then amused when Rachael would open the bathroom door at the same time as me, never knowing what Teila, Arianna, and Megan would do next, or having nighttime hallway parties and being a "unit" with Brenna... I found a lot of time to laugh and have fun in between the moments of stress.

I gained something I didn't know was an option for me: a support system.
I gained a group I could go to when I was freaking out, and they would act appropriately (either comfort me and give me advice or slap me silly if I wasn't being reasonable).
I gained a group I could confide in at small groups.
I gained knowledge, love, and hope.
I gained best friends.

Also, I had absolutely the best RA I could have asked for. Savanah is truly amazing. Her genuinely caring nature and her enthusiasm for residents' involvement was what made the biggest difference to me living in Alpha. She became my role model there, and I aspire to be as inspiring as she is. Whenever the stress of college life even started to dig at me, I had my RA and the rest of the girls in my hall to liven my spirits. This is something I would have deeply regretted missing if I hadn't lived in the residence halls, and I'm so thankful I got the experience.

And when I needed to escape my dorm building, I had even more friends outside. I gained Ashley H as a (best) friend, and she's even going to live in the same apartment as me. I met Kathleen, who I'm sure I will remain close with next year. I hung out with James all the time and even got to know his super cool roommate, Noah (who, in case you were wondering, is super good at card tricks, juggling, and rapping. He also sings, plays the guitar, and is smart. SO COOL. Okay, anyway, moving on...). Plus, I had my lovely high school friends :)

Not surprisingly, I had a ton of awkward moments. Perhaps the most embarrassing was when I told Karissa's brother that he was "nice to look at" and that I "didn't mind" his company. Then I ran away.


Anyway, this is kind of just a ramble-fest... So I'mma go.
To those of you who just completed your first year of college as well, congrats. Now let's have fun this summer!