Saturday, November 27, 2010

I miss YOU.

I miss my friends.
I miss my family.
I miss my dog.
I miss snow...
I miss Washington.


I've been sitting here, clueless about what to write. And that's probably because I'm wallowing in my own pity party here in the sunny state of California. It might also be the fact that CARS is playing in the background and I HATE CARS (it's the ONLY pixar movie I can't stand AND they're making a second movie... Dumb). So basically I'm distracted.

I think it's mostly the friends thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've made friends since I've moved here. A bunch. I've made friends that invite me over and like having me around AND they like Axl... So that's a plus. I like all my new friends. And I know that if I keep hanging out with them they will become even better friends. But what I can't stop getting over is all the differences between the friends I have here and the friends I have at home.

For one thing. Almost all of the friends I have here are guys. Because the mas majority
of people attending Columbia College Hollywood are guys.
Almost all the friends I have at home are girls. I don't know why. It's not like there's a bigger population of girls back in Auburn than there is here in Northridge. I guess it's just because in middle school, all but one of my friends were girls and then when I moved to high school I just continued the trend.
Honestly, I don't prefer male friends over female friends. I guess I just wish I could be able to communicate more successfully with all my female friends back home and still have all my new guys friends to communicate with here.
I'm rammbling.

Another thing is that all the new guy friends I have made here have all the same interests as me. I can sit and have an hour long conversation about a director and his best films and then the next hour we'll move on to another director and the trend goes on and on.
Back home I don't have a specific thing I talk about with my friends. We just chatter on ab out drama and how boring Auburn is (Northridge is worse) and all the things we did over the years.
Both are equally fun.

Are you bored yet?
I'm sorry.
I'll move on to the story that made me start thinking about this.

I was sitting in line with some friends for the premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part one (OH! As soon as I get a chance to go to the library I'm going to get the first book and start reading... I'll keep you updated) I ended up playing this weird card game with them were you can't refill your hand until your next turn. It. Drove. Me. Nuts.
Because of my OCD, I needed to refill my hand RIGHT AFTER I finished my turn, but I couldn't. So I would sit there and bounce, and swear, and ask people if they were done yet. They all thought I was hyper but in reality I was losing my mind.
Anyways. One of my new friends... Was just looking at me weird. Not getting it. I mean, she's as weird as I am but she just didn't get it. All my friends back home would have known that I can't concentrate on anything EXCEPT refilling my hand during a game like that.
Inside the theater they played twenty questions.
The same friend that didn't get it chose the person "Hobo" as the others guessed, another friend asked: "Would anyone here be considered the type of person you are talking about?" And she replied: Berlyn maybe. She said she was kidding but she inadvertantly called me a hobo. Maybe it was cause I asked her to buy popcorn, or drive her car, or used a free movie ticket to get my ticket. Regardless... It wasn't right and it was offensive.

Back home when I go to movies and ask my friends: "Hey, you should buy popcorn so I can eat some of it" they don't think, "God. berlyn's a hobo."

It's messed up. When I got home I laid in bed and thought about how I would have much rather seen the movie with my friends back home. How I missed them all because they would never really call me a hobo.

I told another friend here but I think he told the friend that called me a hobo because a few days later she had a small stuffed penguin as an "early christmas present". She knows something.

I mean, I know I'm not really one for "talking about my problems" but I do wish I had SOMEONE to talk to... Even if it was my mom. She listens pretty well.

AND KIM! I miss Kim so much. I can talk to Kim about pretty much anything and I don't feel like I'm being judged. She's very cool like that. I don't know if I'll be able to see Kim when I DO come up but I wish I could. I mean.... I'll probably cry like a baby but it will be good for me. I miss you Kimmy and I hope you are doing well....
The crying like a baby thing goes for pretty much anyone I do see... So... Prepare yourself.

SO in conclusion. I wish I could come home for the holidays. I WISH I could come home and see all my friends (mostly girls) and talk about my problems and cry with them and laugh with them. I want to come home and see everyone. Just for a little while so that I could refresh myself before I come back here.
Don't get me wrong. I don't feel this way about all the friends I have here. Just a few.

Anyways. I think I'm going to call this good and try to do something productive today. Maybe I'll work out and read inglorious basterds. Or go shopping for food.
Food would be nice.

I love you all.

Old Friends And New Friends :)

-Berlyn :)


  1. I miss you so much Berlyn :(
    This post was so good but it makes me sad, too! Can we please just hug for like two hours straight when we finally see each other again? I love you. Call me tomorrow if you can, okay?

  2. Yes! A two hour hug sounds FANTASTIC. Lets do that. See how awkward it gets and how fast... If it does.... I'm sorry I didn't call you. I can try later tonight.