Sunday, August 15, 2010

I need everything ever right this instant.


It's amazing. Magical. Spectacular. You need it. Everyone who owns it is gorgeous and extremely happy. If you buy it, you too will be gorgeous and extremely happy. Your life will be PERFECT. If you don't buy it, you will be an ugly loser. Upon owning it, everyone will light up when they see you and you will be greeted most extraordinarily. Go to the store and buy it NOW. NOWWWWW!!!!!

You don't even know what I'm talking about, but at least a little part of you is dying to go get it...
That, my friends, is the power of commercials and product placement.

Really, it happens all the time. You're watching the television and a commercial comes on, so chances are you will view the advertisement. You're in a car
and can't help but see billboards. Characters in your favorite sitcom have a fantastic time while drinking ice-cold Coca-Colas... yum, you want one... NOW.

Tasha is susceptible to Maybelline commercials in particular. One day, after viewing an advertisement of Maybelline's new Falsies Volume Express during the latest episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Tasha said, "I need to stop buying mascaras because of the commericals... It's getting expensive and my eyelashes do NOT look like that."

(I later bought this mascara and excitedly texted Tasha to tell her. I actually really like it and my lashes look menacing... but I have huge eyelashes to begin with and they still don't look like the commerical promised.)

But now that I've mentioned Secret Life, let me explain about the HORRIBLE product placement that occurred during this terrible yet amazing show. There has been many "hidden" messages in the show to attempt to teach young viewers many things about morals and laws. But whatever, I love it.
Anyway, the Verizon logo has been shown on screen while characters relish their ability to send picture messages simply because they love Verizon... but I get that. It's a lot more subtle than the horrifying example Clean and Clear showed. Grace, a character who is very cute and Christian and used to be a cheerleader, was given a glorious gift by her mother who said something around the lines of "Oh, I went to the market today and picked this up for you, just in case you have a bad night and need a burst of energy in the morning." Out comes a Clean and Clean morning burst energizing weird object! Why could she not
have just been using it in the morning or something and commented on its ability to energize her? It was a terribly executed practice of product placement because it was dialogue. But...

It worked! I opened up my nineteenth birthday present from Tasha, and wrapped with a bath robe for my college dorm was the Clean and Clear Morning Burst Surge!

"YESSSSSSS!!"
Yeah, I was excited. That's actually quite the understatement...
Now I can be as pretty, peppy and popular as Grace Bowman. Score.

I've even seen a commercial making fun of commercials, and that commercial makes me want THEIR product because they REALIZE how ridiculous yet necessary advertisements are.
Kotex tampons. Yup. I really hope you have all seen the commercial. They're making fun of their OWN older commercials.


Perfect. I want them. Now. A year's worth. Now.
Why do I still not have them....
And that Verizon phone...
I don't even have Verizon...
I'm a T-Mobile customer...
I should put on my Falsies mascara...
after energizing with my Clean and Clear product...
and maybe drink a Diet Coke...
because then I'll be in a fun location with friendly people...
and sun
and happiness...
NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Advertisement overload will be the death of me.
Unless stress is.
No, that won't be it, not if I constantly energize myself!
MUST. USE. PRODUCT.

Now...

4 comments:

  1. .... That is EXACTLY WHY I USE KOTEX....

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  2. Ughhhh I just realized a huge chunk of it went missing because I did "<3" and it thought I was trying to use HTML incorrectly.
    Baw.

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  3. Kim, you do have huge eyelashes, and they are lovely. You don't even need makeup. But mine are a little thin...maybe I should try some Falsies...I am gonna run to Walgreens after I finish this diet coke and get some....and maybe pick up some Morning Burst while I am there...

    ReplyDelete