Friday, July 23, 2010

I did not have sex with that woman... But I mess around with a few of them Hollywood girls....

I want to play a game.

Seriously. I mean, do you want to know some crazy shit? Last week, Kim (my other half) wrote the blog LIVE FROM CALIFORNIA.

Which makes my blog post...

.... Again......

It would be so much cooler if the blog had been posted LIVE from different places... You know? But it seems that the blog only has two homes currently: Washington and California.
.... Moving on....

What's my point for telling all of you that the blog has now, officially been posted from California twice.... What was the purpose of telling you that I wanted to play a game? Well my friends... Since my blog post is the SECOND blog post from California...

I've decided to make things a little interesting.

I'm going to make all of you an offer you cannot refuse.

Are you good at counting? Do you like movies? Do you like quotes? Because since I am officially forty minutes away from Hollywood I have decided that I am going to hide a bunch of populr movie quotes in my blog post.
If you find all of them and send me all the quotes and the name of the picture they can be found in you win the grand prize (TBA).
If you guess or find the right number of movie quotes you get the second first place prize.... (Also TBA).

What do you need to do to enter?
Just email us at with your entry. I, personally, like to be amused so if you wish to type a witty thing up in the subject box as the heading of your submission feel free.

Before I move on... You all understand... Correct?
Quotes. Prizes. Fun. SECOND post from California.
Get it? Got it? Good!

I know what you all are thinking now...

Berlyn... What could you possibly write about now that you have started your blog off in such a way that resembles a game show? WHERE COULD YOU POSSIBLY GO FROM HERE?!

Well, friends, I am going ramble, rant, raggle-muffin, and throw a ruckus about anything that comes to my mind.
.................................. So kind of like stream of conciousness (Causisness, Conciousness, consisness?... Ah fuck it....) but more Berlyn-like... So more of a panic attack.

You ready?
I have to prepare my self....
The future... Failure... The dark.... gross stuff under your nails... stuff in my hair.... stuff in my hair.... retainer in water.... the world is ending... THE WORLD IS ENDING!

Alright I'm ready.

First of I want to say that I am terrified for what is to come. School is scary, moving out is scary and even furniture is scary.
Why can't I be a normal kid and want a normal college experience no farther than a hundred miles away from home?
Why do I want to become a screenwriter when most of my friends want to help people? Doctors, teachers, health trainers....
I mean seriously?
Who looks at Berlyn Lee and thinks:

I'll have what she's having?

No one most likly.
People are probably going to walk into the apartment that I just rented today (which I kind of, really, love..) And think.... She's gonna need a bigger boat.
Inside I wanna be like SO WHAT?! I'M MOTHERFUCKIN RICKY JAMES BITCH! But in reality I would feel all upset about it and say nothing. I just hope in the end that I can push away that upset feeling and be happy... I hope I can.

These past few months my mom has been saying that life is like a box of chocolates. You never really know what you're going to get. But I do, at least a small part of me feels like I have found my home.

Sure. To all my friends in Washington I can promise you that every once in a while I'll be back but really... I want to make California my home for a while. I like it here already.
I mean... It's just so fluffy.
And by fluffy I mean diverse.

And though things will get rough.... There's always a tomorrow. It's only a day away.

Moving on.

So do you feel lucky? Well do ya punk?!
.... Man I wish I was black sometimes. Then I could be true gangster without really trying. Is that racist? Probably. Oh well. I mean, I love being british, don't get me wrong... But it's much harder to be a gangster and be white. It's just not easy... At all. Maybe that's just me though. Gangster at heart but soft outside.
I mean. I can't fight. I'd probably cry and tell the cops everything. And I could not wear baggy pants... I like the tight fitting ones.
And I talk a lot. And rule one is that you never talk about fight club.
... It's also rule three.
I know what you all are thinking.

Berlyn, that's the cryteria for GUY gangsters.

Yeah... Well... You want to see the GIRL cryteria?!

-Short tops that show your tummy.
-Sex with gang members
-LONG curly hair
-Fighting (less guns more nails....)
-A good amount of sex appeal
-And a very wide vocabulary for cat fights.

That whore... Skank.... Bitch....
That lint licker.....

Maybe I could just hang out with everyone and not really be in the gang but hang with gangsters... Making me a gangster....
I could be like a refferee (uhhhhh spelling is hard) or something.

GENTLE MEN PLEASE! You can't fight in here! This is the war room!

Yeah... Good gig for me.

Again, moving on.
I'm a little paranoid that I'm boring you. Saying things and throwing movie quotes about.... Some of them aren't even movie quotes... But they count. What should I talk about now?

I want to advertise this blog. I'm going to make stickers and place them all over the city and stuff. This way we get more attention. More love.

And we all know how much Kim and I love being loved :)

Damn it's hot in this room... My mom closed the window. I mean god, my the force be with me. It's hella hot in here. And I'm kind of exhausted... That's probably adding to the whole thing.
So I'm going to go to sleep.

My next blog will be written in Washington but after September 1st ALL OF MY BLOGS WILL BE WRITTEN FROM GOOD OL' CALIFORNIA.
I'm so excited :D

e-mail us your entries for the contest to the email address above.
I will inform you who has won in the comments or on facebook.... The I will personally deliver your girfts.


P.S. Kim... How do you feel about stickers?


  1. I love how many quotes I found...
    I can't play though :P haha


  2. Haha :D Sorry you can't play :(

    We should make some and stick them around our cities.

  3. It stresses me out to look for the quotes because practically everything has been said in a movie :(

  4. They're just popular quotes haha.