I love you.

I had this dream the other night where it started snowing.

It was summer in california... During the day... Snowing.

I think I miss home far more than I should. I miss the winter. The snow. The cold. I miss using blankets.

When I moved into my new place with all my new roommates I was the only person with blankets and I, no joke, have like eight.

I know Kim's favorite season is the Summer but mine is definitly winter.

Summer is just hot and calls for swim suits and shorts. This is typically when people point out how white I am as if I had no idea. Not to mention wearing a swim suit calls for a lot of self confidence. Sometimes I have that... Other times not.

Also...

If you weren't aware of it, I dislike people sometimes... I'm a cynic. And in the summer, when I am not at home... Almost 90% of my friends in California aren't here... So it reminds me how many people I don't like. AND then I feel like a bitch...

So... I miss the winter time.

When all my friends are here and I see them for a while... And then I get on a plane and fly home to my family and my friends that are (pretty much) my family as well.

Then it might snow... And I get to wear lots of sweaters. And shiver. And wipe my runny nose.

I miss it.

I miss the goosebumps on my arms, scarves around my neck, mittens on my hands, and big coats covering me from the cold. I miss all of that. I miss home.

Don't get me wrong. I like being here in California. I like going after my dreams. I love writing (except I don't really write as much as I should or as much as other people). If I wasn't in California would I feel as close to what I want to do as I do now? Probably not. Would I be close to my family and be able to see them whenever I wanted? Yes. Yes I would.

But this is where I need to be. And this is what I want to do.

It's weird that a year ago I had no clue what I wanted to do. I juggled between animation, art, writing. I was so unsure of my future... All I knew was that I did not want to take my chances with a degree in english... That never seems to get anyone anywhere anymore.

So many anys.

I really want to be here. But I get home sick... You know? Everyone does.

... Unless you hate your home...

But I feel like I am missing everything. I wish I could be there to see my sibblings growing up... To hang out with my mom. My friends.

I miss Kim a lot. I used to see her everyday... Now I don't even really talk to her.

Awkward people talking on telephones is awkward.

SO.... Of course we don't really talk on the phone or at all really. And it sucks.

Kim, I love you. I miss you. I hope to see you very, very soon.

I guess I am feeling this way because of A) Home sickness, but also (B) because the vlogbrothers on YouTube just celebrated Esther day... It's based on this really cool girl that died of cancer at a very young age and asked the two brothers to say they love eachother once a year on her birthday. It's a nice thought. And very little these days do we express our love for other people. We're too busy... To cynical.

So... Readers, friends, family, winter.

I love you all. No matter who you are... I love you. And I hope to see you soon.

-Berlyn

How to survive MORTAL PERIL!

Well, I just finished the Harry Potter books this week, and I have been watching the movies in preparation for the big day... And with the big day being this upcoming Thursday, I see it fit that this blog is just a little themed with how to survive when everything goes to shit.

So this is How To Survive Mortal Peril 101

1. Get at least One or Two Really Great Friends that will never EVER leave your side. Ever.

The friends that will slap you across and scream "fuck no!" when you tell them that you have to go it alone. The friends that will declare your enemies theres and risk their lives to make sure you and the rest of civialization may survive.

These friends are more than "besties" they're like family.

Courageous and equiped with thier own special skills that help the team as a whole. Saving the world, or simply surviving the apacolypse would be impossible without them.

2. A Special Skill Set

What do I mean by a special skillset?

I mean, you're capable of doing something that other people aren't.

Whether that is weilding a sword and whip like mister Indiana Jones here or damaged nerve ends like Kick Ass or just the incredible ability to annoy the fuck out of anyone that comes your way. It's just something that you can do that others can't.

These abilities typically don't come out until the moment arises. When the floor splits in two and a hand of lava flies up to pull you into it's midst. Suddenly water can shoot out of your hands or you were more courageous than you could have ever imagined.

These abilities will help you out of a tight space, all of the type spaces.

And sometimes these skills can be as simple as a severe disregard for safe, measured planning. So, techinically these skills could be anything... Most of the time they tend to be a large amount of guts.

3. Weapons

Now, I'm not talking guns... Unless you're James Bond... I'm talking weapons of mass importance. Weapons that mean something.

Wands, swords, records (see sean of the dead), hammers, etc.

Something that was very hard to find and is the only thing that will help you at your time of need. Something irriplaceable. If only something that is found in the nick-of-time.

Every story has at least one of these. The thing that will help lead to the resolution. The thing will slice off your attacker's HEAD! Shazam.

4. Romance

Okay, so you don't NEED this... But it's always nice. It's one thing that will always keep your spirits up in the face of disaster. It's encouraging. It's the warm blanket in the stormy weather.

So even though it's not a vital object to the list it is still important. It is still something to keep in mind when the end is near. Shouldn't we all open at the close?

Stupid reference. I apologize.

5. A goal

This is the thing that, above all, will remind you why you fight... Why you continue on in the face of death. Why you keep going when you want to stop.

Freedom for your people. You're family's safety. The human race. Happiness. Love. Etc. Etc.

This is the thing that you dream about. The thing that you so desperatly want that you would die for it. And that is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in survival of Mortal Peril.... Something to fight for.

Well people, I have been working on this blog for hours and I think it is time to call it quits and actually start my day. I only hope that this list has helped you realize just how informative movies actually are and also prepared your for a future that could happen... You never know.

Good Luck.

-Berlyn

Panic attack at 7am...

Hello everyone!

I can't talk long today because I am moving out and... Unfortunatley.... I do not have internet at my new place until Monday... So... I'm doing this right before I head off to work. But... I'm very, very stressed out and wanted to give a few tips and pointers before I run off on not being stressed... Maybe that way the aching in my stomach will go away.

1. Take deep breaths.

I know, I know... Everyone says this... And most of us rarely do it. Most of the time when someone else tells me to do this I want to smack them over the head and hold my breath until I pass out... Just to show them... I guess... But I mean... When you think about it... They're on to something. Oxygen is what keeps your heart moving... Deep breaths are much more relaxing and successful than the small little ones we have when we are having a panic attack because the lady with the couch may not give us the couch and... Well... We already rented the truck to pick it up....

... Deep Breaths....

2. Drink water.

I don't have much to say on this... Again... Something I don't do alot... I like to blissfully ignore the fact that my body is 90% water. But... Whenever I get a massage from me madre she always says to drink water because when you are getting a massage and knots are released, toxins (I know... I can't spell) and you need to flush them out.

So just think of it as washing all the toxins out... At least for a little while.

Eat an apple as well... They're just good for you okay? Do it.

3. Think about the things you are excited about.

This is the one I actually do ALL the time.

I think to myself: I can't let today get to me... They still haven't made a flash superhero movie and I have to be alive for that.

Or: I can't kill my boss today... I still need money to go Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2.

Yes people. Maybe it's not as healthy as the other two ideas and it's more a bribe to your brain.... But it gets the job done.

Today I will probably keep repeating: See Kim, Harry Potter and September.

4. Believe in yourself.

I don't mean stick stickey notes telling yourself that your are brave and strong and pretty... Like those skinny girls in movies that think they are bad off... I'm talking for one moment, let all your insecurities melt away. You're better than them.

I believe in you.

Okay... I still have to take a shower and then head off the work and work from 9-5 at school and then put my room together until I pass out... All the while trying to find a replacement couch. Talk to you all in two saturdays.

-Berlyn

The time to say goodbye... is later.

Procrastination is a dirty little bitch. She never lets me do anything. Even this blog post has been put off for a while because she's so clingy and won't leave me alone... But procrastination and I, we became pretty good friends this past year. I mean, we tolerated each other. We understood each other, at least. But I'm having second thoughts.

Procrastination came into my life several years ago, but it wasn't really until this year that we became connected at the hip. Everywhere I went, procrastination was with me. Now that it's summer time, I hope we can take a break from each other and maybe not be so close next year... but I guess we'll see.

The last week of school was pretty ridiculous. I know it's all my fault because my real friends (not the stupid Procrastination that has this pathetic hold on me... leave me alone, love... I don't need you in my life!) told me to ditch Procrastination at LEAST for finals week. The week before my final paper for Ancient History was due Rakia told me "I don't want to see you out in the hall in the middle of the night upset about how much you have left to do. DO YOUR PAPER." You see, I would, but... I have a date with my poisoness love, PROCRASTINATION.

At least she tried. Maybe she should have hired a hitman.

I do manage to get all my work done though, at least eventually. I had to miss out on some fun the night before my Ancient History paper was due, which was a bummer. I was at Caroline's house with the girls for small groups, and we were all playing a fun game (Balderdash?) but I had to quit and leave early to finish my work... Procrastination called my name while I ignored her and went to the library.

She didn't like that very much...

See, I tried to ditch her the week before. She wouldn't get off my back, so I called upon Michelle B for a favor. I had her change my passwords for Facebook and MyYearbook for the week because my friendship with Procrastination was becoming quite the affair. I found myself sneaking around anyway, even if I was just slowly packing up my room or texting other girls... It was still a problem, but it wasn't quite as ridiculous.

Basically, I've realized my relationship with Procrastination is unhealthy. We either need to go to counseling or just separate completely. Next year, I'm ready for a fresh start. It's time to leave Procrastination behind me and just move on.

-Kimberly

One down, three to go.

So I just finished my first year of college.

Boy, am I exhausted.

It seriously went by wayyy faster than I thought it would. I'm pretty sure all of college is just going to fly past me... Then what? The future is a complete mystery to me, and as excited as I am for it, I am also terrified. But I'm not going to think about that right now.

I'm not going to lie, this year did not go exactly as I had thought it would. There were a lot more downs than I predicted, but I also made more solid friendships than I thought I would. I didn't go into the year thinking I would make a solid group of friends. I didn't imagine I would love all the girls in my hallway. Whether it be dancing ridiculously in my room with Danielle, going out to Thai food and having in-depth discussions with Cait, giggling with Sam, thinking the same ridiculous things as Rakia ALL THE TIME, silently relating to the lovely Karissa more than I thought could be possible, venting and joking with Michelle, being equally pleased with cleaning supplies as Ashley, constantly being scared and then amused when Rachael would open the bathroom door at the same time as me, never knowing what Teila, Arianna, and Megan would do next, or having nighttime hallway parties and being a "unit" with Brenna... I found a lot of time to laugh and have fun in between the moments of stress.

I gained something I didn't know was an option for me: a support system.

I gained a group I could go to when I was freaking out, and they would act appropriately (either comfort me and give me advice or slap me silly if I wasn't being reasonable).

I gained a group I could confide in at small groups.

I gained knowledge, love, and hope.

I gained best friends.

Also, I had absolutely the best RA I could have asked for. Savanah is truly amazing. Her genuinely caring nature and her enthusiasm for residents' involvement was what made the biggest difference to me living in Alpha. She became my role model there, and I aspire to be as inspiring as she is. Whenever the stress of college life even started to dig at me, I had my RA and the rest of the girls in my hall to liven my spirits. This is something I would have deeply regretted missing if I hadn't lived in the residence halls, and I'm so thankful I got the experience.

And when I needed to escape my dorm building, I had even more friends outside. I gained Ashley H as a (best) friend, and she's even going to live in the same apartment as me. I met Kathleen, who I'm sure I will remain close with next year. I hung out with James all the time and even got to know his super cool roommate, Noah (who, in case you were wondering, is super good at card tricks, juggling, and rapping. He also sings, plays the guitar, and is smart. SO COOL. Okay, anyway, moving on...). Plus, I had my lovely high school friends :)

Not surprisingly, I had a ton of awkward moments. Perhaps the most embarrassing was when I told Karissa's brother that he was "nice to look at" and that I "didn't mind" his company. Then I ran away.

GOOD JOB, KIM.

Anyway, this is kind of just a ramble-fest... So I'mma go.

To those of you who just completed your first year of college as well, congrats. Now let's have fun this summer!

-Kimber

Awkward Foods Part 2 :)

A year ago today I wrote my very first blog. On Awkward Foods. So, in celebration of our first year as Awkward bloggers... I am reprising the Awkward Foods blog.

As we grow older, people grow more and more mature. But the sad thing is... Penis jokes, well... Let it be known that even on the day of the apocalypse, people will still be making penis jokes. So what do you do when you are enjoying your midnight snack and your dorm mate Annoying Albert leans over the top bunk and remarks: Be a sweatheart and swallow.

I am only offering ways to defend yourself when you are so rudely insulted. Take it or I will shove this cucumber down your throat! Kidding!... But really...

First of all, let me address the elephant in the room...

1.CUCUMBER!

Not only does this green, watery tasting vegetable have the actual word "cum" in it's name but it does have the unfortunate quality of being shaped like a penis.

Long or short, thick or thin, curved or not (too much information?) in every situation Stupid-Bitch Sally will turn around from her desk and raise her eyebrows at you before remarking: I didn't know you liked it in the mouth!

So, if you every find yourself in the upsetting world that is I-don't-have-a-knife-but-I-do-have-a-cucumber-and-I-am-starving-land here are a few recommendations.

Now, be warned... The first one is a little unrealistic:

1. Don't eat the cucumber... Wait till you can cut it up into little non-phalic peices. Then eat to your heart's content.

2. Narrow your eyes at Stupid-Bitch Sally and respond with: "Well... I'm sure everyone knows you like it in the mouth".

3. Take a bite from your cucumber. Savor the nice watery taste... The crunch noise it makes... Then get up, walk over to Stupid-Bitch Sally and round house kick her in the face.

Next up:

2. Churros

Sneaky little basterds.

These guys hide out in fairs, carnivals, malls, and amusement parks... Just waiting to be bought and brought slowly up to your watering, excited lips and evoke Shut-the-hell-up Harold to say: Goin exotic I see!

Yes. Churros are delicious... Therefore undeniable.

You.Just.Can't.Turn.Away...

I mean, they're elephant ears that don't require sitting.

(Fair foods refference? No? Okay...)

So what can you do?

1. Don't buy the churro.

... Nope. Impossible. Next option.

2. Turn to STHU Harold and respond with: "Well, at least I'm goin somewhere, Harold."

3. Enjoy your churro, all of it. Then kick Harold in the balls and sprinkle the remaining delicious sugar In.His.Eyes.

3. Carrots

I want to do what bunnies do with you... Eat carrots... What were you all thinking? Sickos.

Now, eating healthy is one of the most important things you can do while you are in college.... Besides graduating...

So when you return from a long hour at the grocery store, depraved from the junk food you survived on your freshman year, and craving that nice, bright-orange, crunchy carrot on the top of your grocery sack you shouldn't have to worry about Whorey Wendy coming out of the closet in her skank-suit and laughing: "Girl you need to get some real penis!"

All you want to do is enjoy your diet foods. Lose that freshman fifteen without the hassle. But now this I've-been-skinny-ever-since-my-days-as-a-world-champion-food-eater bitch is staring you down.

1. Give up on the diet. Who diet anymore anyways? I mean... Lap-band exists now...

2. Roll your eyes and respond with: "Girl your self-esteem issues are going to get you pregnant".

3. Grab a twinkie and shove that carrot down her throat.

4. Ice Cream

Oh ice cream... I grew up with you... We were the best of friends... On warm days you'd cool me down... On bad days you cheered me up... When I couldn't have you... I wept... I loved you ice cream! And what did I get in return?!

... Left behind.

Ice cream never grows up... It stays the same age... Beckoning everyone to fall back into childhood again.

Now, I know ice cream is not shaped like a penis... But the licking and sucking puts it in this catagory...

So, I know we're in college... And ice cream is expensive and we are poor. But on that very slim chance that we can obtain ice cream we don't want to have to worry about or supposedly best friend Off-Bounds Oliver to turn and say: You enjoying that cream over there?

So what can you do?

I suggest:

1. Buy a smoothie instead... It's healthier and you won't look like a baby sucking on a binky.

2. Respond with: "Are you enjoying your over-sized car that you think covers up the fact you have a small penis?"

3. Enjoy your ice cream and then stab offbounds Oliver in the heart with the cone.

What... You haven't killed someone with an ice cream cone?... Wuss.

5. Pickles

Just so you know... I know they are just pickled cucumbers. But they go by a different name, so different, special little spot on the list.

Pickles can be found anywhere. On your burger, your sandwhich, ice cream... You know, you can get them in a bag now? Or you can just eat pickles all by themselves. That sour but indulging taste is just too much to resist.... You go to take a bite and Annoying Albert leans around and winks: "Don't forget to swallow aweatheart"

What an ass. Can he not leave you alone for more than a minute? First destroys your dorm room with a party and now this.

So what can you do?

1. Put the pickle down, it's not worth it.

2. Throw the pickle at him and respond with: "Don't forget to warn the girls about your herpes"

3. Enjoy your pickle. Then rip off his head and pickle it...

Too extreme?

Well, that's the list guys. I hope it will help whenever you have the urge to enjoy one of these unfortunate phalic foods and are faced with an asshole friend, dorm mate, or anything else.

But you know what? I hope, more than anything, that this list makes you smile... Makes you look back on all the blogs Kimmy and I have written over the past year. It's been a fun, stressful ride and I hope that in a year, I will be writing another list. And the year after that. Another. Because, you know what? I love Kimmy, and this blog keeps me close and tied to her....

And.... Because you can never run out of phalic foods.

-Berlyn

P.S. Happy anniversary Awkward Blog :)

"I need the smell of summer; I need its noises in my ear."

So lately there have been a few really sunny and summer-like days scattered throughout. I cannot express how happy and excited I am. Summer is absolutely my favorite season. I'm also a huge fan of winter and of autumn (just not spring, ick), but summer by far takes the cake.

[I don't know what everybody does for summer, but I usually spend a few weeks in California and then spend the rest of it in Lake Tapps. I love both of them during the summer.]

Just like the lyrics in a song by my favorite band, Brand New, says, "I need the smell of summer; I need its noises in my ear." For those of you who need a reminder of why summer is so magnificent, let me explain, at least from my standpoint, how it is amazing in every way.

Sounds of summer:

Lawn mowers and sprinklers. The distant sound of boats and jetskis. Little kids laughing as they play in the sun. Good music blasting in the car with the windows down. Fireworks on Independence Day. I hate that my dogs get scared, but something about the loud BOOMs are quite welcomed by me one day a year. Basketballs bouncing on the suddenly occupied outdoor courts. Water splashing.

Tastes of summer:

FRUIT. My goodness, I love it when my mom cuts open a cantaloupe and gives me half. Also, popsicles, Diet Coke, crackers with hummus, sandwiches, pizza with friends, veggie trays, bbqs (I'll take a Boca burger, thank you.), iced coffee drinks, and flavored iced teas.

Feelings (physical, going with the senses) of summer:

The wind blowing in your hair when the car window is down. Jumping in the water when it's hot outside. Toes buried in the warm sand. The air-conditioning in the library. The way the page of a book feels when I turn it or the way the paper of my notebook feels when it's warm as I write on it. Lips of your summer love pressing against yours (trying to relate to those more appealing than me, haha). The way your feet feel as they smash against the concrete while playing Fugitive. The warmth of the sun on you when you're lying outside.

Smells of summer:

Freshly mowed lawns. Bbqs (Yes, I am a vegetarian, but they still smell good to me.), bonfires at nighttime, fully bloomed flowers. Sunscreen. Book smell! I read so many books during the summer, and I'm a sucker for the way books smell (unless it's disgusting for some reason). Various lotions and body sprays. And there's this smell I just cannot explain... nighttime at summer. Summer nights just smell perfect to me.

Sights of summer:

The sun setting while you're still outside. Summer movies at the theatres (final Harry Potter movie, anyone?). Tanned skin. Attractive people wearing less clothing (heh, sorry, had to mention it). The way California cities look at night and how perfect Huntington Beach looks to me during the day. People walking their dogs. Little children chasing each other without a care in the world. I look around and just smile because everything I see just makes me so happy.

Also, there is no school during summer. So I decided to get a head start and just throw all rules relating to grammar out the window in this post. No school also means less stress. YAY.

This is a short post, but I hope I got you excited for the upcoming fun. Have more to add? Comment below!

-Kimberly

P.S. I've included a picture of me reading outside from last summer :) I love it!